I've come to the conclusion that in order to make it in life you need to laugh. It's seriously one of two things that gets me through each day. The other one being my faith. After a month from hell I've come to the conclusion that since I obviously have no control my life I'm just going to have to sit back and see where it takes me. This month has been the most emotionally draining month that I've had in a long time. People have seen sides of me that I wish they had never seen. Making myself vulnerable is not something that I like to do. In fact, very few people have witnessed that. People have seen me cry and seen my at my maddest (if thats a word). Which is a very rare thing. I have always been the "strong" one...you know the one that never cries in front of people and I allowed my superiors at work to see the other side of me. The side of me that proves to people that I don't have it all together contrary to popular belief. I have had to get over my pride and own up to things at work which has resulted in people having more respect for me but has caused me to become more reserved around my co-worker. I hate showing that side to people. I hate people knowing that i'm not the perfect girl that they think i am. I don't have it all together. The future terrifies the crap out of me because I have no idea what is going to happen. I'm just really good at hiding my fears. Laughing has always been a way for me to hide what i'm feeling. Like, for instance, I laugh when something happens that scares me. It's really weird...if you were to pass out in front of me i'd probably start laughing before I started screaming haha. I laugh when I'm around strangers so that they won't see that i'm nervous and that I don't always feel like I fit in. But whatever.
Onto another subject...since I know that people read this (only if I allow them, ha) I will update about my life!
Due to the fact that I only see Steven on the weekends, I don't get much time to hang out w/ my girlfriends....But, Friday I got to hang out w/ a good friend from work which was really nice. After a couple of drinks at Bahama Breeze, which is one of my favorite restaurants, we went to Fox and Hound. She got to meet a friend of mine and it was really fun to hang out with all of them because they always make me smile. It was really funny because before we went there...I told her, "Mary, you've gotta meet my friend Brandon...hes really sweet and he's single." Well, after we got there, everytime he would get up, she would turn to me and say "Oh my gosh, he is SO freakin hot" She'd date him in a heartbeat I know...that being if he was interested....
It makes me laugh....
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