Cancer sucks.

"God saw that you were getting tired and that your cure was not to be, so he wrapped his arms around you and whispered, "come with me". A golden heart stopped beating, adoring eyes went to rest, God broke our hearts to prove, he only takes the best." 

-Carol Aberst

Late this afternoon, a sweet friend of mine lost her battle with brain cancer. She was 28 years old. Her courageous battle lasted a little over a year. It has been an intense last year for her. The cancer ravaged her body yet, she kept fighting. She never gave up, never lost that smile. 

I never thought at my age, I'd be able to say I've had a friend die of cancer. It doesn't sound right. I'm too young to be able to say that, and yet, I can.  I had the hardest time coming to grips with that fact that she had cancer. I had many, "but, I just saw her and she was fine" moments. She wasn't suppose to die. This wasn't suppose to happen. I sit here wishing I had spent more time with her.  When we got back from Germany I had it set in my mind to reconnect with her after not seeing her for about a year from living overseas. She was one of the only friends that made an attempt daily to check in with me. To make sure I was okay and smiling. She filled my quiet, uneventful days with laughter and smiles. I've regretted to this day that I never told her how much that meant to me. It meant the world. However, shortly after returning from Germany was when she got the diagnosis of brain cancer. A rare, inoperable brain tumor. I still remember the phone call. I was sitting on our couch facing the window. We had just gotten back from shopping and I had a voice mail from her asking me to please call her as soon as I could. I sat down while she bluntly told me the news, "I have a brain tumor, Kimberly." What? What do you mean you have a brain tumor. I remember just saying "no" over and over, telling her that she couldn't have a brain tumor b/c I had had a cousin die at the young age of 4 from one and I just couldn't have another close friend/person have to experience that.

But, she did. No matter what I said or wanted to believe.

I spent the next few weeks planning how I was going to spoil her and spend a ton of time with her while she went through chemo. But, I never got to do that. 

Shortly after her diagnosis, she moved back to New York to be with family during it all.  Her brother became her main caregiver. He was and is her rock. Her advocate. He was amazing through it all. I've never seen somebody so strong through a trial like this!

Upon hearing that she had passed, along with sadness came a great feeling of relief... relief knowing that she's no longer in pain. She's not laying in a hospital bed anymore and has been freed from the tight grip of that horrible, horrible tumor.

Frances Cavalieri, you were an amazing person that I was blessed to be able to call my friend!

"What moves through us is a silence, a quiet sadness, a longing for one more day, one more word, one more touch, we may not understand why you left this earth so soon, or why you left before we were ready to say good-bye, but little by little, we begin to remember not just that you died, but that you lived. And that your life gave us memories too beautiful to forget."