Guess what day it is?!? It's Not Me! Monday!

It was not me who while retrieving the laundry from down in the basement, charged at my husband like a herd of terrified cows when the lights in the hall went off. Yes, pitch. black. It was also not me  that held on to him shaking while we waited for the elevator to come. Nope, not me... i'm not scared of creepy, scary places in the basement and I'm certainly not scared of the dark. Well, at least not that much!

I did not frantically search for my cell phone while it was ringing the other day.  It was not me who couldn't figure out why the phone sounded so close to me, yet I still couldn't find it.  And, it was definitely not me who realized it was in my back pocket the whole time. Pssshh, i'm not a blonde in disguise. Nope.

It was not me who decided to jump in our tiny shower and knee plant into the side. It was not me who upon hitting my knee screamed and cried like a baby because I was sure my knee was dislocated.  And, it was not me who was secretly upset when I realized that instead of a dislocated knee, I instead had a bruised knee with a welt on it.  It's definitely not me who likes how my husband babies me when I'm hurt.

It was not me who while making mac and cheese yesterday, accidentally poured pepper onto the hot burner. It was not me who created a pepper spray like substance by doing so.  And, it was not me who (along with her innocent husband) was coughing and gagging for air certain that my throat was closing up.

It is not me who after watching way too many One Tree Hill episodes, started having dreams that Dan (from the show) was chasing me trying to kill me.  I mean who has dreams about shows they watch?!

Lastly, it was not my husband who when strangers on the elevator started to complain about how someone had broken the buttons (or at least thats what we think they were talking about) could only think to say, "Schade".... which roughly translates to "It's a shame."  It was not us who while these people were trying to have a conversation with us, we did not respond, but in fact, just giggled instead.

* Now, you gotta imagine the scenario - 2 random individuals on the elevator with us.  Going on and on about something. The WHOLE time they were looking at us waiting for us to respond. Me, the smart wife, just sat there and giggled.  My studly husband just stared.  Finally, after moments of not knowing what to say, the ONLY thing my cute husband could think to say was, "It's a shame".  Hahahaha - it is definitely a Not Me! Monday!