"Do not lose hold of your dreams or asprirations. For if you do, you may still exist but you have ceased to live."
- Henry David Thoreau

"Keep you dreams alive.  Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication.  Remember all things are possible for those who believe."

- Gail Devers

These are two quotes that I found online that I really like.  I feel they are so relevant to Steven and I's life right now. You know, this blog was started as a way for me to express myself, a way for me to vent without having to do it to someones face.  It allowed me to get my thoughts out.  Yes, now it is more for Steven and I to keep our families and friends updated.  And I love that it is used for that matter.  However, once in awhile, I still need to vent, to just write.  So, please just read... when I write to just get some things off my chest, I don't always want responses.  I know that sounds harsh, or some may think that sounds rude.  But if you think about yourself, sometimes don't you just want to talk to someone without having to have them critique you or tell you what they think?

I promise I will update soon... we've just been busy with some stuff. But, we do have some funny stories to tell everyone :-) Anyways, onto what I was going to write about, haha.

Just like those two quotes say, faith is required to reach your dreams.  Keep them alive.  Sometimes, Steven and I question why we're here.  Why did we come when we need more money? Why did we come when we don't know anyone? Why did we give up everything we had? Why did we leave everything and everyone we loved? Why? I don't know why... But, I know that it's God's will for us to be here. Why worry? Nothing is gained by worrying.  God wouldn't have gotten us this far to let us fail. He wouldn't have let us get this far for us to just run out of money (yes, that is a very real fear to us right now).  I'm not complaining. I'm really not. I'm just talking... er, or writing. Haha. You see, I'm not always that funny, happy go lucky person. I'm a real person who sometimes just wants to get her feelings out. But, reality has hit.  There probably won't be that much traveling on our behalf.  Is that upsetting? Yes.  I won't lie... but, if we use our money traveling, experiencing the world - then Steven will not be able to finish his dream.  The last update I posted, I wrote about us going to Italy for our anniversary. I took that down because it's not going to happen.  The reality is, is if we want to go home for Christmas, we will have to use the money that would have been spent for our anniversary (and some more).  But, that is ok.  We can always travel and have nice anniversary's when he has his big car designing job! Oh yeah! It's just hard sometimes. You see everyone around you doing stuff and naturally, you want it to.  Do I want to be able to celebrate my first anniversary somewhere fun? YES. It's my first anniversary. Why wouldn't I want to spend it somewhere other than Pforzheim.  But, Steven reaching his dream is more important to me.  Plus, there is a lot going on with my family this year and coming year, and I would like to be able to see them all since I wont be able to be there when it all happens.  I really don't know why I am writing all of this.  I'll probably just take it all down in a little while :-)

I guess I'm just telling you all of this to say, it's not easy.  But, God never said it would be easy.  So, instead of moping around about how we need more money, or how we can't travel and see other countries (since we are in Europe and could do so very easily), or how we have only a few friends, or how I'm not going to see my brothers graduate..... I'm going to smile. I'm going to be happy because Steven and I are healthy, we have food, furniture, some silly Mexican friends, and we have each other.  And, in 17 months (yes, I am counting) I am going to watch my husband receive his graduate degree. I am going to be able to watch him become one step closer to reaching his dream.  And, that brings me so much happiness!

Anyhow, i've done enough babbling.... I think I'm good for a few days :-) We'll update soon about everything we've done.  It's Friday and I am SO glad it is! I start my language classes on Monday - I am not looking forward to getting up early! Our hot date of the week is going to get ice cream tonight and watching One Tree Hill!!! Oh yeah! Man, I picked a good one ;-)